


More Than These Bones

by especiallythezefronposter



Category: Raven Cycle - Maggie Stiefvater
Genre: Insomnia, Kissing, M/M, that's pretty much it
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-26
Updated: 2016-02-26
Packaged: 2018-05-23 09:14:33
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,053
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6111878
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/especiallythezefronposter/pseuds/especiallythezefronposter
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Noah can't stop looking at Gansey, the shadow on his cheeks from his lashes, the contrast of his alive lips against Noah's pale skin.</p>
            </blockquote>





	More Than These Bones

**Author's Note:**

> This fic is inspired by f0x-meets-w0lf.tumblr.com's wonderful art. Seriously, if you're looking for good trc fanart you definitely need to check out their blog. This is the work I started from: f0x-meets-w0lf.tumblr.com/post/139899985294/my-first-prompt-for-the-kiss-art-challenge-just
> 
> These dorks deserve way more than this fic, but it's a start, right? More is on the way :) Also this is way more angsty than it should have been.

Noah usually realises too late that he's invisible. He's become so unaware of his own body that it's almost strange to feel solid again, to see his hands in the corners of his eyes when he moves them. 

He's tried to put a hand Gansey's shoulder after Gansey ignored Noah saying his name twice. But there is no hand, only Gansey's shoulder moving as he shuffles papers on his desk.

Noah steps back before he consciously makes an effort to be _there,_ , visible. 'Gansey,' he says again.

Gansey looks up immediately but doesn't startle. 'Noah,' he says, voice not entirely there.

Noah knows he hasn't slept more than a few hours in the last week, that he's currently in a fight with both Ronan and Adam and that Blue hasn't returned his calls. He knows that Gansey's hands are shaking because there's nothing else he can do, because his brain isn't working as it should be, going on too little sleep and too much caffeine, because he's trying to distract himself from all the things that matter.

'I lost -' His voice catches in his throat and he takes Noah's wrists in his hands as if he's begging something of him. 'I lost the invite, but my sister wanted me to give it to Mary-Ann because she only lives fifteen minutes away anyway and she's going to hate me if I don't give it to Mary-Ann and I won't be allowed to come anymore and -'

Gansey trails off, either because he notices Noah has something to say or because he can't think of anything worse than not being invited to Helen's graduation reception.

'Have you looked in the car?'

Gansey shakes his head, still holding Noah's wrists like Noah's going to save him.

'I'll do it,' Noah says. Gansey lets go of him easily and watches Noah as he leaves Monmouth. The invitation lies intact beside the gas pedal, where it must have fallen out of Gansey's bag.

Gansey makes a choked sort of sound when Noah returns holding the envelope and grabs Noah's wrists again as soon as he's within reach. 'You are a marvel,' he says, much more genuine than anyone else ever cares to be. Noah isn't used to the kind of affection in Gansey's voice and is, as always, taken aback.

Gansey's voice is in no way as petrifying as Gansey's lips, though. Soft and warm and _currently touching Noah's hand_. Noah can't stop looking at Gansey, the shadow on his cheeks from his lashes, the contrast of his alive lips against Noah's pale skin.

Gansey looks up when Noah pulls away, his eyes _yearning_ and Noah doesn't understand this, how he ended up here with a boy who's supposed to be dead, who knows that Noah is supposed to be alive but isn't. Who calls him a marvel, who lets Noah pretend to sleep on his mattress while he's at his desk reading. Who is about to kiss him, but doesn't know it yet.

Noah leans in and Gansey doesn't move, doesn't stop him or encourage him or blink. Then their lips touch and he kisses back immediately, kisses like it's the same as breathing. Noah doesn't recognise the sound that leaves his mouth when Gansey puts a hand on the side of his neck, like a verbal shudder that stills against Gansey's lips.

He puts the hand Gansey kissed on Gansey's cheek and loses track of time.

Gansey only leans back when it gets hard to breathe and kisses Noah once more - short and profound and like it's never going to end - before he lets go of him completely. 

Noah drops his hand and straightens. He doesn't know what this means.

Noah loves Blue and Ronan and Adam and Gansey, but he's dead.

Gansey loves Blue and Ronan and Adam, but he's going to die.

Gansey's hair is all tousled because he ran his hands through it too much, so Noah crouches so that he's the same height as Gansey sitting in the chair and fixes it. 'I'll make hot cocoa,' he says. 'To help you sleep.' It's barely dusk, but it doesn't matter.

Gansey looks sad and he says, 'Noah,' but he doesn't say anything else.

Noah turns and he feels Gansey's eyes on him all the way to the bathroom. He only notices that his hands are shaking when he picks up a used coffee mug.

Gansey says his name again when Noah hands him the cocoa, but he doesn't say anything else.

'I'll be in my room,' Noah says.

And Gansey says, 'Stay.' His voice is still hoarse from the kiss.

Noah turns to him and nods. He knows where he wants to be.

He watches as Gansey drinks the cocoa and then as Gansey changes into his pyjamas as he lies down on the mattress. Then Noah can't look at him anymore. He wants too much.

He can feel Gansey's eyes on him. 'Do you want - in the bed - to sleep - or -'

'It's okay,' Noah says and Gansey quietens. Noah can't even kick off his shoes, but he climbs into the bed anyway. He has been in the bed before, but not with Gansey in it, too. Gansey lifts the blankets for him and they lie there without touching, thinking about touching, until Gansey falls asleep.

Noah doesn't sleep, but time passes as it always does and he's still all there when Gansey wakes up, panting and too still. It takes a moment for him to open his eyes, but eventually he finds Noah in the dark.

'There's no bees,' Noah says. He grabs Gansey's hand under the sheets and presses it to his lips. 'There's only kisses.' He makes sure Gansey looks less upset instead of more before he kisses his knuckles, his wrist, lower arm, elbow, upper arm, shoulder. 'I bet bee stings are all hot. I'm the opposite. They're not here. You're okay. I'm here.' _I'm here._

He kisses Gansey's shoulder again. Gansey makes a noise like there's something stuck in his throat and Noah looks up to see if he isn't doing more harm than good.

Gansey kisses him as soon as he can reach Noah's lips. Noah doesn't know for how long.

Later, Gansey falls asleep again and Noah doesn't, but with his head all quiet he can rest.

**Author's Note:**

> Actually I have a question. Can Noah take off his clothes and did he just never bother or is he forever stuck in his Aglionby sweater?
> 
> Title: Flesh and Bone by Keaton Henson


End file.
